With the perfect mix of fact and fiction, author Lea Brovedani’s new book entitled Trusted – A Leader’s Lesson delivers an enjoyable story and lessons (should you choose to see them) on how to increase, maintain and sustain trust in any relationship.
Drawing from techniques in Appreciative Inquiry, Emotional Intelligence and other research based psychology, plus a lot of common sense, Lea shared her wisdom on the air recently. You can listen to our entire July 5, 2013 CJOB radio interview here as a podcast: http://www.cjob.com/Shows/Episodes.aspx?PID=2553.
Meanwhile Lea provides these sensible tips for building trust:
The saying goes “Love makes the world go round” but I’d say “Love and Trust make the world go round”. Trust is at the core of every good relationship, whether it’s a personal or business relationship. Trust is a willingness to be vulnerable based upon positive expectations about someones behavior.
Besides the cardinal rule “DWYSYD” Do What You Say You’ll Do”, trust is damaged when one of the 5’c’s are broken. The 5 c’s are:
- Communication – the base and touches on the other 4 C’s
Most of us like to believe that others trust us. But if you have ever been late, had an argument, failed to get an order to a customer on time, delivered a product with flaws, insulted someone, told a secret, then there is probably a person or business out there that doesn’t trust you. Here are some things you can do to build and in some cases rebuild trust.
You can achieve the best results by using the two magic words “I’m sorry”. Don’t negate the apology by adding “but”.
Acknowledge the consequences of your actions. You wouldn’t need to apologize if there wasn’t an unwanted consequence.
Give a sincere apology.
S Be sorry – be authentic and contrite.
I Intentional – apologize to all those you affected
N No excuses – avoid the words if, but and maybe
C Consequences – accept the consequences your actions or words caused
E Empathy – see it through their eyes but don’t tell them how they feel
R Restitution – what will you do going forward
E Expect – that they may need time. Ask for forgiveness – then let it go. Don’t get angry because they don’t immediately give you their forgiveness.
We all make mistakes. The people who are most trusted are usually the people who trust the most. In order to continue trusting you have to be willing to make a “leap of faith”. The leap of faith requires you to be open to vulnerability, risk taking and not knowing. I know it’s not easy but only when you embrace the leap, can you be open to trust.
Truly forgiving takes patience and determination until whatever hurt you, no longer holds energy. If you are having trouble letting go and forgiving, find someone who can help you through your anger and grief.
Forgiveness is not about them, it’s about you.
Stephanie Staples, CSP* is the author of When Enlightening Strikes – Creating a Mindset for Uncommon Success and an internationally acclaimed motivational speaker. She empowers audiences & clients across North America to bring their ‘A’ game to work and to life. Stephanie has a special interest in working with and empowering nurses and healthcare providers. She happily calls Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada home. You can get loads of complimentary resources to help with issues such as work/life balance, wellness, stress management and happiness in general, as well as find out more information about her coaching and speaking services at http://www.YourLifeUnlimited.ca.
* Certified Speaking Professional (CSP), conferred by the National Speakers Association is the speaking profession’s international measure of professional platform competence. Only the top 10 percent of speakers earn this credential and are recognized as some of the best in their fields.