Nothing Changes Until You Do is the latest offering from author Mike Robbins and I was happy to have a conversation with him this week on Your Life, Unlimited radio on CJOB.
A candid and sensible approach to better living, Mike lays it on the line and challenges us to take responsibility for what’s going on in our lives – the good, the bad and you know it… the ugly.
You can listen to the whole show, courtesy of Corus Entertainment here…Your Life Unlimited with Stephanie Staples and Mike Robbins
Mike shares three core lessons for how we can make peace with ourselves at a deeper level:
1) Have Compassion For Yourself – Self-compassion is one of the most important aspects of life and growth, but is often something we either overlook, think is “soft,” misunderstand, or simply don’t know how to practice. There are three key elements to self-compassion. First of all, mindfulness and awareness for how we’re treating ourselves. Second of all, a sense of kindness and forgiveness towards ourselves. And, third, a realization of our common humanity with others (i.e. remembering that we’re not alone in our experience). As I was writing the book and as I’ve been promoting it, when I’m able to be gentle and kind with myself and reduce my self-criticism, it has been way more fun and I’ve had much more success.
2) Surrender to Life as it Actually Is – Surrendering isn’t about giving up or giving in, it’s about making peace with what is (even if we don’t like it.) A big paradox in life is that until we can be at peace with what’s actually happening in the moment (i.e. letting go of our resistance and of our obsessive focus on how things should be), we’re not able to make the changes we want or to experience the joy we desire. During the writing and editing process, as well as in the ramp-up and launch process with this book, whenever I’d resist, judge, or fight against what was happening, I’d suffer. However, when I was (and am) able to allow things to be exactly as they are, it has been remarkable to me how easy things have flowed.
3) Take Ownership for Your Life – Ownership is about taking full responsibility for our lives and for what shows up around us. This can be tricky for a few reasons. First of all, we live in a culture that loves to blame and make excuses, so we’re swimming in that ocean all the time. Second of all, there are a lot of things that happen in and around us that we don’t have direct control over (other people, economy, weather, and many circumstances and situations). However, we always have a choice about how we relate to what’s going on and how we interpret the things happening around us and even within us. When we take ownership for our lives we let go of blaming and excuses (or we notice as soon as we can when we’re heading down that negative road.) And, we make a commitment to ourselves that we’re going to create the life we truly want – not simply react to life as if it is “happening to us.”
These are all fairly simple concepts, but like many things I write and speak about, understanding them is quite different than practicing and embodying them (i.e. they’re easier said than done.) When we’re able to have empathy and compassion for ourselves, and remember that truly nothing can change until we change, we’re reminded that we’re the source of our own pain, joy, difficulty, and success. It’s both sobering and liberating when we embrace the idea that it truly is all about us. And, paradoxically, when we get this and live this way, we actually end up releasing ourselves from a great deal of unnecessary stress and make ourselves available to show up for others and for life in an open, authentic, and empowered way.
For more information feel free to visit Mike’s site…www.mike-robbins.com
Again, you can listen to the whole show, courtesy of Corus Entertainment here…Your Life Unlimited with Stephanie Staples and Mike Robbins
Stephanie Staples, CSP* is the author of When Enlightening Strikes – Creating a Mindset for Uncommon Success and an internationally acclaimed motivational speaker. She empowers audiences & clients across North America to bring their ‘A’ game to work and to life. Stephanie has a special interest in working with and empowering nurses and healthcare providers. She happily calls Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada home. You can get loads of complimentary resources to help with issues such as work/life balance, wellness, stress management and happiness in general, as well as find out more information about her coaching and speaking services at http://www.YourLifeUnlimited.ca.
* Certified Speaking Professional (CSP), conferred by the National Speakers Association is the speaking profession’s international measure of professional platform proficiency. Less than 10 percent of speakers have earned this credential and are recognized as some of the best in their fields. Stephanie was one of only five professional speakers in Canada (and the only woman) to attain this designation in 2013.