Create Your Own Results

You can’t have negative thoughts when you are giving from a place of love.

Laurie Guest, author of Wrapped in Stillness, A Personal Retreat Guide joined me on Your Life, Unlimited radio on CJOB.

As a fellow ‘motivational speaker’ – call us that if you must – we knocked around ideas for increased positivity.

She reminded us that nobody knocks on your door and hands you happy. You have to create it for yourself and Laurie shared her favourite question that you can ask yourself whenever you are feeling lack…

“In what ways can I be…”

Fill in what you feel is missing. Is it healthier, happier, more fun, less stressed etc.

Then do the research to answer the question and then do it! Create your own results.

Nobody will be knocking on your door and to hand it to you, apparently! Shucks! 😉

Right in line with Laurie’s way of thinking Debbie Holmes, author of How to Help Others without Losing Yourself shared tips and thoughts that everyone born with the helping gene (which is both a curse and a blessing!) should remind themselves about regularly!

Debbie says so many of us forget who we are, get lost in our work and fail to remember that work shouldn’t define us, we should define our work. After taking a listen to their show, be sure to read about Compliments and view Debbie’s checklist!


Consider Compliments

Compliments are given out on a daily basis and it has taken me 20 years to accept them. When you are able to look at the positives in life, you feel better. This is true for others as well. Are you not trying to teach your clients that they need to feel better about themselves? So if you don’t practice what you preach then you are not living the best life you can. Everyone in this world deserves to be happy and if you can accept the good and feel it inside and out, then your perspective on life becomes a whole lot better. You really do know more than most people give you credit for.

For the next week, instead of denying compliments or brushing them off, accept them and think about what that person is really saying. Remember there are many facets to confidence and being able to accept that others see good things about you is vital. It is amazing how much more powerful you feel when you believe positive words from others.

Anger & Self-Care Checklist

Think about the last three times you were angry. If this is too hard to remember, focus on the next three times you become angry. When you have calmed yourself down, ask yourself these three questions.

  1. Is this worth my attention?
  2. Am I justified being angry about the situation?
  3. Do I have an effective response?

Once again, if the answer to any of these questions is “no” then this was not an effective way to deal with the situation and you needed to come up with a better alternative.

Keep a record of these questions. By looking at your answers you may begin to see patterns and areas you would like to change within yourself. Information can be powerful and acknowledgment, as we know, is the first part of change. You may find you need some outside support to help delve further into some issues. Being honest with yourself can only help you to improve who you are and how you can practice what you, as a Helper, preach.


Stephanie Staples, CSP* is the author of When Enlightening Strikes – Creating a Mindset for Uncommon Success, an internationally acclaimed motivational speaker, and the recipient of the 2014 Manitoba Woman Entrepreneur Award for Contributions to Community. Stephanie empowers audiences & clients across North America to bring their ‘A’ game to work and to life. Stephanie has a special interest in working with and empowering nurses and healthcare providers. She happily calls Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada home. You can get loads of complimentary resources to help with issues such as work/life balance, wellness, stress management and happiness in general, as well as find out more information about her coaching and speaking services at

* Certified Speaking Professional (CSP), conferred by the National Speakers Association is the speaking profession’s international measure of professional platform proficiency. Less than 10 percent of speakers have earned this credential and are recognized as some of the best in their fields. Stephanie was one of only five professional speakers in Canada (and the only woman) to attain this designation in 2013.


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