Are you an Absolutist?

What do you know to the very core of your being with absolute certainty?  Great question to spur some interesting discussions around the dinner table.

Laurie Langcaster, author of the newly released Absolutist Guide to Love. She claims it’s the last relationship book you will ever have to read – with the caveat – unless she writes another one!  She seeks to inspire people and organizations to BE peace in relationship with themselves and others through the use of Absolutist Principles. These 5 simple principles facilitate the shift from outsourcing one’s life to other people, work, and things to living personal Freedom.

I interviewed her on Your Life, Unlimited radio on Corus Entertainment today and she shared the principles that rocked her world for the better.

You can listen to the whole podcast here: Your Life, Unlimited – with Stephanie Staples and Laurie Langcaster

Enjoy Laurie’s guest blog post here.


It was such a pleasure to guest on Stephanie’s show yesterday.  Having spent most of my career on the other side of the microphone, I’m adjusting to answering instead of asking the questions!

I am grateful to Stephanie for having me on her show and also for offering to share this blog space.  I left the studio contemplating what is stirring within me to express and I came up with something to think about as our thoughts and wallets turn toward Valentine’s Day.

From The Absolutist Guide to Love:

Great minds throughout the ages have struggled to define love and current thinkers and artists continue to labor because we are attempting to make an intangible, tangible.  Love is.  That’s the definition.  A description that’s not very satisfying to the mind.  Tell me exactly what it is.  Tell me exactly how to do it.  I need to know.  Why?  So I don’t have to figure it out for myself.

One of my great teachers, Ernest Holmes says, “Practically the whole human race is hypnotized because it thinks what somebody else told it to think.”  How much programming is in your head about what love is?  What if you decided to delete all the programming and replace it with two words; Love is.  Love is a state of being.  Stop looking for love outside of yourself and accept that you are love and be it.  The greatest mistake that we make is to define love from without.

A Valentine’s Day gift suggestion:

The greatest gift to give you is to embody this idea; I am love.  Love does not reside outside of you.  Stop looking for it.  When you decide to become unhypnotized and accept that you are the source of love, then the magic happens.  Once you know that you are the supply of love, you stop being a beggar and redefine your life description as a love philanthropist.  Give without expectation.

If you only ever have one more relationship in your lifetime, please make it the one you have with yourself.  I used to read lines like the previous one and think, “Impossible!  How do you have a relationship with yourself?”  You don’t have to know how to do it, just be open to the possibility.   Discover how interesting and wonderful you are.  The giddy, dizzy, “I’m a teenager” feeling that happens when you meet “The One” is merely a reflection of your fabulousness pictured by the mirror that the “love of your life” is holding.  It has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you.  You don’t have to understand the concept, just be open to experimenting and see for yourself.

When you spend time googly eyeing yourself and adoring you, when you know who you really are, you will know what you want in a partner.  

Laurie  The Absolutist Guide to Love available @,, McNally-Robinson and other fine booksellers.



Stephanie Staples is the author of When Enlightening Strikes – Creating a Mindset for Uncommon Success and an internationally acclaimed motivational speaker. She empowers audiences & clients across North America to bring their ‘A’ game to work and to life. Stephanie has a special interest in working with and empowering nurses and healthcare providers. She happily calls Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada home.  You can get loads of complimentary resources to help with issues such as work/life balance, wellness, stress management and happiness in general, as well as find out more information about her coaching and speaking services at – See more at:


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