Lew Bayer, founder of Civility Experts Worldwide, has a mantra – “Choose Civility.” She says one of the best ways to be civil is to assume that the other person is having a worse day than you and act accordingly. Use your generosity of spirit, be civil because you can, not because you have to but because you can.
These are plenty more insights are in store for you on this weeks podcast: Your Life, Unlimited with Stephanie Staples and Lew Bayer
And…enjoy Lew’s guest blog post here:
If, as I do, you include aspects of conscious effort to ease the experience of someone else in your definition of civility; and if you believe as I do that civility is its own reward- then philanthropy and generosity is naturally imbedded in everything you do. It is the giving of oneself with no expectation of return that builds trust and fosters long-lasting change. In any case, in short-form below are my suggested six key aspects of the art of giving:
1. Give with no expectation of return; that is, give without knowing you might not be rewarded or acknowledged, and give knowing you may never recoup the time, money, energy etc that you gave.
2. Give what you value most; for example, my current most prized commodity is time, so squeezing even 20 minutes extra out of a day for me is a huge challenge and sometimes very hard to give when all I want to do is curl up on the couch with a hot cup of tea. But I have learned that the biggest return comes with the gifts that are hardest to relinquish.
3. Give without being asked to; it’s hard to ask for help and for a range of reasons, people will often say no- even when they really need so I find it is sometimes best just to take action- help, support, jump in and give however you can rather than spend a lot of time talking about what you could do and waiting for an invitation to do it.
4. Give without measuring the gesture; I often hear people say they only have a few dollars or 15 minutes isn’t enough, or they can’t commit to all 6 meetings etc. I’m of the opinion that something is often better than nothing and often even the smallest gesture, a tiny kindness, or a few focused moments of attention, can have big impact.
5. Give often; just like any other behaviour, giving- whether its a kind word, a few minutes of your complete attention, a few dollars, etc, can become a habit. When exhibited consistently giving becomes part of your character.
6. Give without judgment; that is, don’t be concerned about what anyone else is giving, and don’t compare or assess why someone else gives, e.g., one person’s cause might be child hunger, another’s might be saving the whales or supporting the arts- each gift has value , you don’t always have to understand the gift, but do try to acknowledge the giver and appreciate the giving.
I challenge you to bring your best self to every interaction, every communication and every opportunity, give, give and give some more, you will reap immeasurable rewards.
Stephanie Staples, CSP* is the author of When Enlightening Strikes – Creating a Mindset for Uncommon Success and an internationally acclaimed motivational speaker. She empowers audiences & clients across North America to bring their ‘A’ game to work and to life. Stephanie has a special interest in working with and empowering nurses and healthcare providers. She happily calls Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada home. You can get loads of complimentary resources to help with issues such as work/life balance, wellness, stress management and happiness in general, as well as find out more information about her coaching and speaking services at http://www.YourLifeUnlimited.ca.
* Certified Speaking Professional (CSP), conferred by the National Speakers Association is the speaking profession’s international measure of professional platform proficiency. Less than 10 percent of speakers have earned this credential and are recognized as some of the best in their fields. Stephanie was one of only five professional speakers in Canada (and the only woman) to attain this designation in 2013.