Resiliency Ninja

Allison Graham

 

I had a super interesting convo on Your Life, Unlimited radio on CJOB radio with Bonnie Mikaluk, whose husband I innocently hugged after a business meeting and wow, did a story unfold after that!

AND…

It’s a party on a bike, lights, music, fun! You can control your own resistance in life!
Christy Weiss, co-owner of Winnipeg Cycle, talks about the difference between motivation and inspiration – you can feel her energy right through the wires and it’s contagious!

AND…

After overcoming a decade of chronic pain and other ‘life sucking’ issues Allison Graham, author of Married my Mom, Birthed a Dog – How to be Resilient when Life Sucks, discussed her Resiliency Ninja fomula! Be sure to check out Allison’s guest blog post below the podcast!

Enjoy the whole show here…

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How “Positive Thinking” Made Me Miserable.

When I started my decade of hell, before I would have considered myself a Resiliency Ninja, I had a very different opinion of what positive thinking meant. I thought it meant seeing everything through rose-colored glasses and spewing sunshiny messages about how incredible life was every where I went.

The problem was, life wasn’t rosy, at times, it was black.

My business was on rocky ground, my body was screaming for me to stop and my resentment was being forced down into the depths of my soul, ready to erupt at any moment. Meanwhile, I’d picked up this notion that I should be happy and positive all the time and anything less than that meant I was failing myself and society’s expectations.

The essence behind positive thinking – in it’s misunderstood form, which is often shared in the personal-development industry – is that if you just think positively and speak no ill-will then everything will be, or become, positive.

In my experience that’s a recipe for being miserable and feeling inauthentic. It’s definitely not the path to genuine healing from life’s hurtful blows.

I misinterpreted positive thinking as an attempt to sweep the worst circumstances under the rug and ignore the reality of the proverbial fan blowing on high.

There is a lot of value to be found in feeling the full anguish of life’s worst moments. Within those dark emotions, feelings can heal and you can rise a stronger, happier, more positive version of yourself. When you ignore the negative by covering it up with false positive thinking, you never truly get to heal, instead, you deflect.

I was a master at deflecting. If I didn’t like an emotion over here, I would change direction and go over there. Positive thinking was my tool to enable deflecting. By labelling a bad situation positively, I avoided dealing with the messy, ugly feelings that the circumstance deserved.

The worst in life releases its hold on us when we go deep and deal with the worst emotions.

Even though I think positive thinking in its naivest form is unhelpful, I’m an exceptionally positive person because after I’ve processed the negative around a problem, I choose the best angle to anchor the circumstance. Seeing the benefits of life’s hardships can keep you from spiraling out of control and dramatizing the negative aspects of what you’re facing. This slightly different perspective on positive thinking makes a world of difference in creating authentic joy…and isn’t that what we all want?!

Connect with me online to share your opinions on positive thinking and how you create authentic joy in difficult circumstances. TW/INSTA @AllisonDGraham www.facebook.com/resiliencyninja www.resiliencyninja.com.

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Stephanie Staples, CSP* is the author of When Enlightening Strikes – Creating a Mindset for Uncommon Success, an internationally acclaimed motivational speaker, and the recipient of the 2014 Manitoba Woman Entrepreneur Award for Contributions to Community. Stephanie empowers audiences & clients across North America to bring their ‘A’ game to work and to life. Stephanie has a special interest in working with and empowering nurses and healthcare providers. She happily calls Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada home. You can get loads of complimentary resources to help with issues such as work/life balance, wellness, stress management and happiness in general, as well as find out more information about her coaching and speaking services at http://www.YourLifeUnlimited.ca.

* Certified Speaking Professional (CSP), conferred by the National Speakers Association is the speaking profession’s international measure of professional platform proficiency. Less than 10 percent of speakers have earned this credential and are recognized as some of the best in their fields. Stephanie was one of only five professional speakers in Canada (and the only woman) to attain this designation in 2013.

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One thought on “Resiliency Ninja”

  1. I agree and appreciate with the ideas presented here and also believe that we have to be careful not to process by avoiding self-reflection. There are times though that simply focusing on gratitude or the good is beneficial we just need to do a quick self check and assess does this matter, ask ourselves is it a big deal or little deal. Sometime simple gratitude is good but absolutely be cautious of sweeping our feelings under the rug, happiness also requires reflection and learning for growth to occur. A blend is what we should be aiming for!

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